2013 Intelligence Predictions – The Pope is Catholic and a bear will shal-lal-lal-la in the woods

By Roger Davies / 15 December 2012 / Humour?, In the News

At this time of year analysts are frequently asked by their managers for their analysis of the year to come. I’m talking here about the world in general not IMSL.  It’s also a perfect filler for the hard pressed editor to fill some blank columns.  That’s pretty rubbish, managers asking for predictions. But often analysts repay the poor management with real dross for their analytical summaries. It’s amusing that quite often they get away with it. Here are some to look out for:

“Next year will see a period of uncertainty in the Middle East”

 – Name me a year when that wasn’t true.

“There is a possibility of a major terrorist attack that will surprise the country in which it happens”

 – A surprise will surprise people

“There may be a period of volatility in the stock markets.”

– That’s what stock markets do…

 “Apple will launch new products to great media interest”

 – zzzzzz

“Industry sector X will go through a period of consolidation, and restructuring”

 -Covering all bases nicely there with a pseudo expert phrase

“Politics in country Y or on issue Z will become more polarised.”

 – and will be recognised by politicians giving each other a hard time as they usually do

Here’s a couple of real ones I found today (seriously):

“Neuroscientists may soon be able to predict what you’ll do before you do it”

–  But they are not doing it yet…

 “Indian scientist predicts the world will not end in 2013.”

– Good luck with proving that one wrong.

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